Monday, November 19, 2007

moving on

hey suckers--
if you were drunk at 3am and on facebook maybe you clicked this link, maybe it just scrolled by on after i updated this, or maybe the Heavens led you here. in any case, we are probably all done with this site, and have moved on to greener pastures: why, yes, we do like a good gimmick for our blogs... maybe next blog around we'll only post things which we wrote in english, translated into japanese on babelfish, then translated back to english.
actually, that sounds amazing.

Friday, September 28, 2007

teen angst.


it's almost as if life isn't worth living anymore. i feel completely as though it isn't, but i say almost because there may be something i am overlooking. but i doubt it. as a good friend once said, "life is a sea of shit." before, i thought he may have been exaggerating, but now i know he speaks the truth. he is wiser than anyone i have ever known. he was able to recognize what vile creatures we, as humans, are. i, for example, never accomplish anything good for someone beside myself and only cause pain or indifference...which may only make sense to me. and it's not fair for me to be around people anymore...i have utter contempt for everyone. and i imagine i'm showing it in one way or another. and if these people are happy then i shouldn't prematurely rain on their parades. they must realize in their own time how disgusting they are...or just remain oblivious to the fact. is no bother to me-it no longer concerns me. although all this was true before, i had something to keep my mind off of such atrocities. but now, it seems as though that, too, is falling apart. (the story of my life-letdown after letdown)*

good god. dramatic much?

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

i wish i could have found a bigger picture. if you lean back and squint, you'll see THE BACONATOR in its full glory.

wow. thats just so much bacon.

and, what the hey, while i'm here, i'll complain, too.

maybe my redcircle line should've just read "Dating," but that's just so obvious. and there's far more suckery going on than just my dating life, so i'd hate to limit my complainery just to that one arena.

Complainery. you can't tell me that doesn't have a nice ring to it.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

poor food choices.

ok, seriously. i know when i really want to eat something and when i don't. but when something is called the baconator, how can one resist? no human could!

so, i ordered the baconator yesterday and, upon the first bite, came up with several more appropriate names, the greaseanator being the most fitting. i could only eat about 1/3 of the damn thing before giving up. but even with that amount of "food" in my system, i was miserable. my stomach was so disappointed with me. especially after being so good on south beach. and then this?! the other end of the spectrum. and my stomach actually thought of leaving me yesterday.

i'm not sure that i could have blamed it.

Friday, July 13, 2007

a theme that i can't escape

When you live in a place that doesn't have its own parking spot, like i do, and where most of your neighbors don't either, parking becomes very personal. If i'm hanging out at home and suddenly realize, at 10 at night, that i haven't eaten dinner and there's nothing good to eat at my house, i'd rather go to bed hungry than abandon my parking spot. All the good spots are typically gone by about 6:30 in the evening, and forget getting a decent spot on Sunday evenings after dark. not gonna happen. And, it's all parallel parking, which has made for a steep learning curve for me, since my parking skills were minimal prior to moving here (thankfully, my roommate is a master and gave me an exceedingly helpful tutorial early on, and the bf has helped, as well). Often, though, perfectly good spots are destroyed by people not paying attention to how they park--not parking close to the end of the curb, leaving too much space between themselves and the car in front of them, etc. Going around and around at 2 am staring at all the places that, if someone just pulled up a little, making the spot a little bigger, would be perfect, becomes almost unbearably frustrating. that's why i need about 500 of these cards:
too good. i'm surely not the only person that has wanted to leave a note on a windshield admonishing the driver on crap parking? i probably want to do it more often than most, as i tend to be very judgmental when it comes to driving and parking. just had to share these.

Friday, July 6, 2007

making concrete a rule i've had for years

Living in San Diego, there's a decent chance that the strapping young lad with the short haircut hanging out in the Gaslamp is part of some branch of the military (especially if his tshirt is really tight). Granted, it's not an issue for me, since i have a lovely non-military boyfriend, but no matter how cute that little marine may be, no matter how muscular, or how precious his little southern accent is, don't fall for it! No military! Nonono. i've not dated a lot, but two of the people i have, have been militarily involved. both in the marines, actually. Aside from just a general approach to life that i can't really get behind, there's all the ridiculous moving and long trips abroad; plus, oh yeah, the chance that the person could get killed as part of their job.
no. military.

Friday, June 29, 2007

this is def t-shirt material

Amen, sister! i couldn't agree more.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

short, and bitter.

no...not me. i'm sort of tall and very sweet. ha.

i do not appreciate being told how to do my job. i have worked at the same place for the past, what? fifty years? i can do my job, and yours better than you can even dream about.

i know what time to clock out for the day. i know what time to go to lunch. i know how to scan out rpl and what to do if it's a "number not found." i know how to prioritize merch tasks. i know how to tell which things are still on sale and which are not. i know what to do if i'm back-up and the cashier hasn't come in yet. i can do pretty much everything at this point, but the things that i am being reminded of are insulting.

so, quit it. or i'll elbow you in the chest.

Monday, June 25, 2007

she strikes again!!!

same biddy that wrote me that note below left a handwritten note in my box over the weekend. this note begs to be read out loud, but since i don't plan to record an audio blog here in my office, you'll just have to read it to yourself ("you," in this case, may mean "nobody," or perhaps just "me"). She's giving me a 4th set of corrections on a flyer i made for her, and if my job doesn't change soon, either in responsibilities here or just a new employer entirely, i'm going to run away. Here's the note:

Hi (scrappy),
Thanks! It looks great. Please make! a few Changes!
1) "CELEBRATION" "letters in BLACK," "stands up better."
2) Make sure! Put! "SINGLE, COUPLE, ALL AGES"
3) Put under ground Parking in the address Box.

It's the random quotes and the exclamation points that really get me. and the fact that i've had to correct this same damn flyer 1,000 times more than i've ever had to correct a flyer, ever. very over it.

Friday, June 15, 2007

i just...hunh?

I am looking at a document right now that is so disastrously misspelled and mangled, i was almost insulted that i received it. Come on! It's typed, and there is no way that any computer new enough to function doesn't have some functioning form of spell check. As a matter of fact, i feel compelled to recreate it right here (to add insult to injury, it's in ALL CAPS, so it's as though the errors are being SCREAMED IN MY FACE):





"Cumunity" sounds like how you'd talk about the group of people who make adult films.
i think i listen to too much Free FM.
boy, i hope no one i work with ever finds this thing...

Thursday, June 14, 2007


first of all, let me say this:

Just...guh. boo. hate 'em. probably why i usually avoid them. that only works for so long, though. they find you, somehow.

now for fun things! or, at least, creepy things!

How greendress earns that rock-hard bod!

Rick and greendress, stretchin' it out

Leg up, greendress!


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

totally off-topic

I know, this isn't pertinent. but if i don't share this with the universe, i will exploooode. i got these pictures from an event--i've actually been getting pictures from this person (the guy in the sparkly vest, as you'll see) for a while now, but this is easily the creepiest set of pictures yet. the captions are, of course, my own. prepare to be weirded out.

i shall call her... greendress. i do not know her name. just as well, because i'd have a helluva time being as mercilessly cruel if i had half a notion as to who she was.

Greendress is flexible!

Greendress is...bending!

greendress is, well, bending a different way this time!

greendress saucyface has less cellulite than me. i hate you, greendress.

greendress is whimsical!

greendress is nonplussed to be consorting with people so obviously far beneath her.

Oh, you, greendress...

Greendress is humoring her many fans.

and there you go. and that's not even all the pictures that this man has sent me! i don't ask for these things. they just come to me. so, internet, now they're yours. congrats.

Monday, June 4, 2007

convenience friends

there are people (and we all know them) who are only around when they need you. i am tired of being around to serve the needs of those people.

if you consider yourself a friend, you should be available at all times. this may seem to be asking a lot, and it is, but it is also necessary. now, i'm not saying that you should be willing to drop everything you're doing when a friend calls and asks you to go watch some karaoke and eat some cheese fries. which, by the way, one should always be willing to do. but when a friend calls, you should either: a) answer your damn phone or b) CALL THEM BACK!

it is not ok to ignore friends. what if something life-changing and critical were going on in their life and you were simply too self-involved to respond?

it takes as little as ten seconds to text someone. just a quick "what's up?" because when i call you, it's generally not just to chat. i want to see you or i desperately need to talk to you. and, as a friend, you should be respond. when you don't, you take away my worth as your friend.

and friends don't do that.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

ok, i know i'm the kid, but...

here's the official redcircleline from the last post. now, here's mine:

i work, basically, in an office, doing, basically, secretarial work (with a little more flair, i might add, but not much). When i was hired, my job wasn't big enough to fill 8 hours, so i would help out some of the other assistants in the building. I ended up spending the most of my extra time with someone whose boss had left and she had taken over running the department. Now, this woman is leaving, and instead of anyone talking to me about it, saying, 'now, we know you were just helping out here, you weren't really hired to do this, this just kinda happened and you wanted to be helpful to someone who was overworked, but we wanted to see if you can take over for this woman when she leaves and keep doing your original job like your boss expects, or what should happen here', oh no, no one from personnel (HR, basically, but scarier and more powerful) has said WORD ONE to me about what my job is going to look like when this woman leaves, oh, tomorrow. HOOKERS!!!!

come on. maybe you are taking me into consideration in this process. but you gotta let me know you are. i'm too smart for this place!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

i'll tell you what!

is it too much to ask that someone acknowledge when i extend a common courtesy?

when i hold a door open for the person behind me i want a quick "thanks!" i know i shouldn't expect it because i'm holding the door open to help someone out, not to hear their praise. but it is nice to have said person's recognition for an act of good citizenship.

yesterday, i let a man back out of his driveway. that's it and he must have waved at me seven times to show his appreciation. that's what i'm talking about.

Friday, May 25, 2007

welcome to our outlet of bitterness and pent-up frustration! Where to begin? there are so many things that make us furiously angry! the #1 most infuriating part of my life has to be...driving.

wait, that's not true. i love to drive. i hatehatehate other drivers. this is one of the worst:

i feel my blood pressure rising already.