teen angst.

*9-17-97

it's almost as if life isn't worth living anymore. i feel completely as though it isn't, but i say almost because there may be something i am overlooking. but i doubt it. as a good friend once said, "life is a sea of shit." before, i thought he may have been exaggerating, but now i know he speaks the truth. he is wiser than anyone i have ever known. he was able to recognize what vile creatures we, as humans, are. i, for example, never accomplish anything good for someone beside myself and only cause pain or indifference...which may only make sense to me. and it's not fair for me to be around people anymore...i have utter contempt for everyone. and i imagine i'm showing it in one way or another. and if these people are happy then i shouldn't prematurely rain on their parades. they must realize in their own time how disgusting they are...or just remain oblivious to the fact. whichever...it is no bother to me-it no longer concerns me. although all this was true before, i had something to keep my mind off of such atrocities. but now, it seems as though that, too, is falling apart. (the story of my life-letdown after letdown)*

good god. dramatic much?