i wish i could have found a bigger picture. if you lean back and squint, you'll see THE BACONATOR in its full glory.


wow. thats just so much bacon.





and, what the hey, while i'm here, i'll complain, too.

maybe my redcircle line should've just read "Dating," but that's just so obvious. and there's far more suckery going on than just my dating life, so i'd hate to limit my complainery just to that one arena.

Complainery. you can't tell me that doesn't have a nice ring to it.

a theme that i can't escape

When you live in a place that doesn't have its own parking spot, like i do, and where most of your neighbors don't either, parking becomes very personal. If i'm hanging out at home and suddenly realize, at 10 at night, that i haven't eaten dinner and there's nothing good to eat at my house, i'd rather go to bed hungry than abandon my parking spot. All the good spots are typically gone by about 6:30 in the evening, and forget getting a decent spot on Sunday evenings after dark. not gonna happen. And, it's all parallel parking, which has made for a steep learning curve for me, since my parking skills were minimal prior to moving here (thankfully, my roommate is a master and gave me an exceedingly helpful tutorial early on, and the bf has helped, as well). Often, though, perfectly good spots are destroyed by people not paying attention to how they park--not parking close to the end of the curb, leaving too much space between themselves and the car in front of them, etc. Going around and around at 2 am staring at all the places that, if someone just pulled up a little, making the spot a little bigger, would be perfect, becomes almost unbearably frustrating. that's why i need about 500 of these cards:

too good. i'm surely not the only person that has wanted to leave a note on a windshield admonishing the driver on crap parking? i probably want to do it more often than most, as i tend to be very judgmental when it comes to driving and parking. just had to share these.

making concrete a rule i've had for years

Living in San Diego, there's a decent chance that the strapping young lad with the short haircut hanging out in the Gaslamp is part of some branch of the military (especially if his tshirt is really tight). Granted, it's not an issue for me, since i have a lovely non-military boyfriend, but no matter how cute that little marine may be, no matter how muscular, or how precious his little southern accent is, don't fall for it! No military! Nonono. i've not dated a lot, but two of the people i have, have been militarily involved. both in the marines, actually. Aside from just a general approach to life that i can't really get behind, there's all the ridiculous moving and long trips abroad; plus, oh yeah, the chance that the person could get killed as part of their job.
no. military.

this is def t-shirt material

Amen, sister! i couldn't agree more.

she strikes again!!!

same biddy that wrote me that note below left a handwritten note in my box over the weekend. this note begs to be read out loud, but since i don't plan to record an audio blog here in my office, you'll just have to read it to yourself ("you," in this case, may mean "nobody," or perhaps just "me"). She's giving me a 4th set of corrections on a flyer i made for her, and if my job doesn't change soon, either in responsibilities here or just a new employer entirely, i'm going to run away. Here's the note:

Hi (scrappy),
Thanks! It looks great. Please make! a few Changes!
1) "CELEBRATION" "letters in BLACK," "stands up better."
2) Make sure! Put! "SINGLE, COUPLE, ALL AGES"
3) Put under ground Parking in the address Box.

It's the random quotes and the exclamation points that really get me. and the fact that i've had to correct this same damn flyer 1,000 times more than i've ever had to correct a flyer, ever. very over it.

i just...hunh?

I am looking at a document right now that is so disastrously misspelled and mangled, i was almost insulted that i received it. Come on! It's typed, and there is no way that any computer new enough to function doesn't have some functioning form of spell check. As a matter of fact, i feel compelled to recreate it right here (to add insult to injury, it's in ALL CAPS, so it's as though the errors are being SCREAMED IN MY FACE):

CELEBRATION DABCE

LOVE TO DANCE IS CELEBRATING THE GRAND OPENING

NEW DANCE FLOOR

OPEN TO CUMUNITY EVERY ONE WLCOME
ADMISIION $5.00

"Cumunity" sounds like how you'd talk about the group of people who make adult films.
i think i listen to too much Free FM.
boy, i hope no one i work with ever finds this thing...

More?!?!?!!

first of all, let me say this:

Just...guh. boo. hate 'em. probably why i usually avoid them. that only works for so long, though. they find you, somehow.

now for fun things! or, at least, creepy things!

How greendress earns that rock-hard bod!

Rick and greendress, stretchin' it out

Leg up, greendress!

????

totally off-topic

I know, this isn't pertinent. but if i don't share this with the universe, i will exploooode. i got these pictures from an event--i've actually been getting pictures from this person (the guy in the sparkly vest, as you'll see) for a while now, but this is easily the creepiest set of pictures yet. the captions are, of course, my own. prepare to be weirded out.

i shall call her... greendress. i do not know her name. just as well, because i'd have a helluva time being as mercilessly cruel if i had half a notion as to who she was.

Greendress is flexible!

Greendress is...bending!

greendress is, well, bending a different way this time!

greendress saucyface has less cellulite than me. i hate you, greendress.

greendress is whimsical!

greendress is nonplussed to be consorting with people so obviously far beneath her.

Oh, you, greendress...

Greendress is humoring her many fans.

and there you go. and that's not even all the pictures that this man has sent me! i don't ask for these things. they just come to me. so, internet, now they're yours. congrats.

ok, i know i'm the kid, but...

here's the official redcircleline from the last post. now, here's mine:

i work, basically, in an office, doing, basically, secretarial work (with a little more flair, i might add, but not much). When i was hired, my job wasn't big enough to fill 8 hours, so i would help out some of the other assistants in the building. I ended up spending the most of my extra time with someone whose boss had left and she had taken over running the department. Now, this woman is leaving, and instead of anyone talking to me about it, saying, 'now, we know you were just helping out here, you weren't really hired to do this, this just kinda happened and you wanted to be helpful to someone who was overworked, but we wanted to see if you can take over for this woman when she leaves and keep doing your original job like your boss expects, or what should happen here', oh no, no one from personnel (HR, basically, but scarier and more powerful) has said WORD ONE to me about what my job is going to look like when this woman leaves, oh, tomorrow. HOOKERS!!!!

come on. maybe you are taking me into consideration in this process. but you gotta let me know you are. i'm too smart for this place!

welcome to our outlet of bitterness and pent-up frustration! Where to begin? there are so many things that make us furiously angry! the #1 most infuriating part of my life has to be...driving.

wait, that's not true. i love to drive. i hatehatehate other drivers. this is one of the worst:

i feel my blood pressure rising already.